Wednesday, August 6, 2014
I GOT AN APOLOGY
Blog Entry #2 for August 6th
The lady I buy my eggs from was so excited for me and my husband. She's someone I've known for a really long time. On an errand to send off a package, she ran into him. He asked her about her family and she congratulated him on being a grandpa soon.
She had no idea that I have no relationship with my father. She was not privy to the details of our falling out. When my dad sent me the text today congratulating me on my pregnancy, he said he had heard the news from someone at the Realtor's meeting. It upset me so very much because it felt very much like what happened when I was about to get married.
I had made the decision not to invite my father to my wedding. It was not a decision I made lightly. Several weeks before I was to get married back in 2010, someone took it upon themselves to tell my father at the local Realtor meeting that I was getting married.
Having my family in the real estate business used to be really nice. People knew my family and knew me because of my parents. It was nice when I was young. As an adult, having grown up in the business, it got really complicated when my parents' marriage of 30 years ended. We became gossip and rather than asking me about things related to my profession, folks wanted to know all the nasty details of our family drama. I left the business for several reasons but a huge one was because our family Spanish novela was not something I wanted to be reminded of.
So when my dad texted and said he heard my news from the local meeting, I was livid. I was upset because it meant that even having been out of the business for a number of years, my life was still fodder for the town gossips.
But it wasn't. My father was just standing in a line and my egg lady saw him. She made polite conversation and was just so excited about the news of our new baby that she congratulated my father on what was sure to be a point of pride for him.
I had written a blog entry, a very frustrated and upset entry about how I felt. That had gotten emailed out to everyone on my blog list... because the internet... Very shortly after my post I got a lovely apology from the egg lady. She told me her version of the story and it was clear she wasn't being a gossip, she was actually being quite sweet. She was so excited for me and my husband and in turn my father.
Her enthusiasm was kind and generous... and it certainly isn't her fault that this part of my life is a soap opera. She was so very sorry I got hurt. I was most relieved to find out it was the egg lady. At some point he was going to find out and now, I'm feeling like this was the best way... because it was told to him from a place of real happiness for me and my husband and not from a place of gossip like I had originally thought it was.
I can't stand it when people stir the pot on purpose, but when people are just expressing sincere joy, I think that's a good thing. She's a really lovely egg lady.